Somewhere I Don't Belong
by BroodyOTH3
Summary: Victoria Davis made a mistake before she had Brooke, a mistake with a co-worker that nearly cost her her marriage, a mistake that resulted in an unwanted,illegitimate son. Explore the life of Alex Davis.
1. Dreams You Let Die

Disclaimer: All characters and situations from _One Tree Hill_ are properties of Mark Schwahn, and CBS Warner Television. No copyright infringement intended.

**Summary : **What if Victoria Davis had made a mistake before Brooke was ever born? A mistake with a business client that nearly ruined her untouchable reputation, and her marriage? A mistake that resulted in an unwanted, illegitimate son? Explore the journey of Alexander Davis, a sixteen year-old boy that has lived in a hostile enviorment with his neglecful mother, harsh step-father, and his princess of a fifteen year-old sister, Brooke. And explore the feelings of Victoria Davis as she reluctantly attempts to raise her son without the help of her husband, and happily groom her daughter to be a successful woman. Can she balance both, even when she favors one over the other? Can Alex overcome being inferior all his childhood and confront his mother, and maybe try to find his father? Read to find out.

Prologue

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_August 19th, 1991._

_As I leave the office, I feel dirty, I have tears in my eyes, and no matter how much I hold my skirt down on my way to the car, I still feel like one of the prostitutes on the corner that I pass in my car on the way home._

_I suppose that these feelings are justified, after all, I just had a one night stand with one of our top clients. He wanted to close a deal for another five years, and he just needed a little bit of prompting. And I wasn't reluctant to give it to him. It was just sex, nobody had to know, and nobody had to get hurt. Hence feeling like a prostitute._

_But thoughts of my husband popped in my head, telling me that I was wrong. Nothing is ever just sex, and there are always consequences, whethere they be pregnancy, disease, or destroyed marriages. Hence my tears._

_John and I had only been married for two years, and I felt that we had a strong marriage. But no marriage was strong enough to handle infidelity witout taking a few brutal hits._

_I was decided that I wouldn't tell him. Because I had only done it to secure a business deal, and not out of unfaithfulness to my husband, he didn't have to know._

_--------_

_September 16th, 1991_

_I can't believe it! A month after my one night stand with George to have that business deal for five more years, I missed my period. And now the pregnancy test that I took in the filthy convenience store restroom showed a smiley face under the positive side. If only they knew that this pregnancy wasn't a happy occasion._

_I had completely ignored what happened with George after I had gone home. John had no idea about my infidelity and I had never planned to tell him. The only hint that I had left behind was that I refused to be intimate with my husband after. I felt dirty and that I didn't deserve it. _

_"Test may not be 100 accurtate" _

_My hopes looked up. Maybe this whole thing was a fluke and I could get along with my life with John happily. In an instant I was on my way to the planned pregnancy center._

_--------_

_September 18th, 1991_

_My life is ruined. John has stormed out of our house, calling me a whore. George is denying that we ever did anything, and that I am trying to pin everything on him. And I am left with a five week old child in my uterus._

_The doctor had confirmed my worst fears, telling me that I had in fact concieved a child. An extremely unwanted child. Abortion was no option for me. No matter how much I wanted this child out of me and out of my life, I didn't have the conscience for it. _

_I couldn't even pass the child off as John's either! We hadn't been intimate since my fling, for I felt too contaminated to bond like that with my husband._

_How had my life taken such a turn downward? I had been in a perfect, loving marriage with a wonderful husband. We were both extremely successful business people, and extremely financially secure. _

_Now one night of unfaithfulness had driven my husband out of the house, possibly ruined our marriage, and saddled me with a bastard child. What was I going to do now. I had shamed my marrigae, my family, and myself._

_---------_

_October 20th, 1991_

_John spoke to me today. For the past month I have been extremely lonely, for my husband has spread the news of my infidelity around the country club. All of the women that I had been friends with now only gossiped about my pregnancy and the lack of a present father for the child._

_But life had looked up today. John had asked me to meet him at a restaurant to speak to him. We had met and had food, and for awhile, we spoke and it felt like our marriage wasn't close to ending. It felt like I wasn't carrying a child that didn't belong to my husband._

_I had apologized to him sincerely asked him to please move back in the house. And while he said that he couldn't completely forgive me, he wanted to come back. The only thing that he said he wouldn't do was be a father the child inside of me._

_Though I may have sounded desperate, I accepted that restriction. I didn't care that he didn't want the responsibility of being a father to a child that wasn't his. I didn't even want the responsibility. _

_But for now, though the unwanted fetus still grew inside of me, something had gone right. Maybe my life wasn't completely ruined after all. _

_----------_

_January 3rd, 1992_

_My stomach seemed to be growing by the minute as the boy got closer to being born. I was very disappointed about it being a boy. The only comfort that I had held about being pregnant was that I could have a beautiful daughter that looked like me. She would love fashion, cheerleading and shopping. _

_But now I was stuck with a boy. George's bastard son. And though John and I were living happily again in our large house, we still had our issues. Trust being the most abundant issue. _

_I despised what this little boy was doing to my previously flawless body. He was adding pounds to me by the day, and making my body fat. All the work that I had put into keeping my body perfect was being destroyed by a child that I didn't even want._

_----------_

_March 28th, 1992_

_I went into labor prematurely today and had to have a Ceasarean Section to get the child out of me when his heart rate dropped. He was about a month premature, and had to be delivered immediately to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. _

_John refused to have anything to do with the birth. He stood in the waiting room the whole time, and merely scoffed when the doctors delivered the information about him. I did appreciate that he came to visit me though when I was situated in my room. _

_What else is there to do but cry because I now had no choice but to raise this thing that has ruined everything that I cherished nine months ago. _

_The nurse placed the wrinkled, red skinned crying child in my arms. The baby boy seemed to calm down when he was in my arms, but I couldn't say the same for myself. I began crying when I saw the child because I was so ashamed._

_Welcome to the world Alexander Preston Davis. Your mother is ahsamed of you and your father is long gone. _

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Hi guys, this is an idea that I have been fostering for awile, and I understand that it is very unusual. But I hope that you can enjoy it. A little bit more information about the story is that this story is NOT centered around couples. If there even are couples, they will be very few and between. This is all about family angst what makes Victoria Davis and Alex Davis who they are. Brooke will also have a big part, but the other main characters will only have small appearances. This is also just the prologue, hence the shortness, but don't worry, the chapters will get longer. Please tell me what you think about the beginning and the idea. Thanks, Broody


	2. Eyes Searching For Purpose

Disclaimer: All characters and situations from _One Tree Hill_ are properties of Mark Schwahn, and CBS Warner Television. No copyright infringement intended.

Somewhere I Don't Belong

Chapter 1

Eyes Looking For Purpose

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In the formal living room of the Davis mansion, Victoria Davis stood by the mantle, seemingly frozen in time as she held a picture frame in her hands.

A family sat in front of their impressively large home posed to look blissfully happy for the photo. And to the person that didn't know of the infamous Davis scandal, they were a perfectly happy family.

Victoria sat close to her husband, John, with one hand on his shoulder, and the other lightly placed on her daughter, Brooke's shoulder. John was nearly in the same position, with one arm around his wife, and the other on Brooke. That was where the happy part of the family stopped.

Sitting beside the three embracing family members was a boy. A tall and lanky stature was sitting in a way that made his skinny limbs look ridiculously distorted. He was not being touched or embraced lovingly by any of the other people in the photo, and his smile never quite seemed to reach his hazel eyes. Not that his eyes were very visible from under his mop of shaggy brown hair that held a tinge of red.

Alex Davis...Her first-born child...Her only son...Her biggest mistake...

Two months after she had given birth to George's son, her life was beginning to settle again. The scandal around the country club had calmed down now that she never took the infant outside. She wasn't sobbing herself to sleep every night while down the hall, her son cried for some comfort.

John was supportive to her in every way except helping take care of Alex, and they were almost back to being normal spouses, and one night, Victoria was even ready to be intimate again. This night of intimacy concieved a beautiful baby girl.

Brooke Penelope Davis...Her second child...The daughter that she always wanted...The best thing that ever happened to her...

Setting down the photo frame, she noticed the film of dust that covered the surface, and made a mental note to make sure Rosa kept up with her duties of cleaning the mansion.

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"Oh Brooke, sweet heart, you aren't really going to wear that top to school are you?" Victoria stood at her daughter's doorway in the morning.

"Yeah Mom, why not?" Brooke looked down at the top she had bought recently while shopping with Peyton. Sure the shirt wasn't her normal style, but she thought for certain that it would pass her mother's style tests.

"Brooke, you look frumpy. Please don't let Peyton pick out your clothes anymore. She doesn't have your taste...Here...This top is much more fashionable." Victoria handed her daughter a hanger with a shirt on it, then pecked her on the cheek before leaving the room, feeling that her motherly duties were fulfilled for the day.

As she walked to the grand staircase of her and John's mansion, a door opened and Alex stepped out in front of her. She stopped awkwardly as Alex did the same thing

Looking over her son's appearance, she sneered. He always looked disheveled, with his mop of hair, his loose jeans, his favorite old hooded sweatshirt, and his worn shoes. The main reason that she never wanted to have a boy.

"Mom" Alex mumbled stiffly, squirming under the burning glare of Victoria Davis. He knew that she had a million things that she wanted to reprimand him on at the moment, as she seemed so disgusted that she was almost speechless. Finally, time got going again as Victoria spoke, venom flowing from her voice.

"What did I tell you about calling me Mom?" Her rhetorical question always found a way to rip into Alex. He had a feeling that she wanted it that way.

"Sorry...Victoria" Alex's tone was just about as unfriendly as his Mother's as he emphasized her name. Walking past her with his backpack slung over one shoulder, Alex made sure that no part of him touched his Mother. She didn't like having any sort of physical contact with her son either.

And so another typical morning passes on in the Davis household as Victoria Davis fulfills all of her motherly duties with her daughter and son.

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Alex pulled his car into a parking spot at Tree Hill High School. Before he even had time to extract the key from the ignition, Brooke was out of the car and headed toward her group of friends as fast as possible.

He knew that Brooke didn't like to be seen with him, after all, who wants to get close with the product of the biggest family scandal in Tree Hill? Brooke's reluctance to hang out with him in public still hurt though, because when they were home, or by themselves, him and his half-sister were best friends.

On his way into the school, he felt slightly invisible. Sure he wasn't the school reject that got beat up every day, but he wasn't swimming in friends either. Alex did have plenty of acquaintances, everyone from the soccer team.

During soccer season was when Alex was his most sociable. The guys on the soccer team valued him for his talent on the field, and offered to hang out with him, and for a few months, he actually had friends.

Too bad when the last buzzer of the last game of the season sounded, his talents weren't worth much, and the guys had no reason to hang out with him.

"Hey Alex, are you coming to practice tonight?"

Alex turned around to see one of the guys from the soccer team that he was friends with. Jake Jageielski was probably the nicest guy on the team. He still said hi to Alex during the off-season, and they even hung out sometimes. Alex would say that Jake definetly was his closest friend.

"Yeah, I'll see you there." Damn, he forgot to tell Brooke that she would have to get a ride home. Now he would have to go up to her group of cheerleaders and possibly humiliate himself.

Brooke could always be found in the middle of a giant group of giggling and gossing girls wherever she went. For sure, she was the more sociable of the half-siblings.

"Hey Brooke...Brooke...Brooke!" Gaining his sister's attention was the hardest part. Considering that he was about half a head taller than the rest of the girls, he was able to make it to the center of the circle though.

"Alex, whats up." She looked slightly annoyed to be bothered by her illegitimate brother. She tried to keep her friends away from her friendship with her brother as much as possible.

"I can't give you a ride home this afternoon because I have soccer practice. Can you get a ride home?" Alex ignored the giggling sophomore girls that currently surrounded him. He was extremely uncomfortable and wanted out of the conversation as soon as possible.

"Yea, I'll have Theresa's sister take me home. Thanks Alex." Immediately, she turned from him and went back to whatever she had previously been gossiping about.

As the bell rang, Alex began walking to the hallway where the Junior classes were held, still thinking about how easily that Brooke put him off, just because they didn't share the same father.

At least Brooke didn't treat him like dirt like her parents did. That was enough for him.

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If someone looked at the him, they would think he fit in perfectly with the others. He sat with them, he watched them, and he ate with them.

But the only catch was that no one ever hardly spoke to him. Alex sat at the table with all of the soccer players at lunch, listening to their conversations about girls, parties, and strategy for upcoming games. Once in awhile, someone would ask him for his opinion on a team, but after he gave an answer, he was quickly cut out of the conversation.

Who was he to complain though? Sitting with these guys was way better than being by himself.

Looking down at the empty tray after finishing his lunch, Alex fell slave to his thoughts.

_"Mom! Help me! Mom, it hurts!" The still high pitched voice of the ten year-old boy pierced the ears of Victoria as she sat in the kitchen. Alerted to the pained voice, she rushed outside where Alex was supposed to be playing soccer._

_Alex was where he was supposed to be, in the spacious back yard. But instead of kicking around a soccer ball, he was on the ground, holding his ankle and groaning in pain. _

_Sighing, she walked through the lawn, aware that her white heels were getting green stains on them because Alex wanted to be an inconvenience. _

_"What's wrong Alex?" She bent down to the grass and pulled her son's hand away from his aching and swollen appendage. She cringed when she saw the extent of the injury to his ankle. He would have to be taken to the hospital, that was for sure._

_"Can you stand up? I need to get you to the hospital." When he shook his head no, a pained tear slid down his red, flushed face. _

_"Mom, it hurts." Alex eeked out as his gangly body was lifted from the ground. Victoria was notoriously uncomfortable with being this close to her son. She hadn't had this much contact with him since she screamed at him for hugging her when he left for kindergarten._

_Once in the emergency room at Tree Hill Hospital, Victoria made sure to situate her and her son away from the other people. She felt that they looked very uncivilized and she didn't want to be anywhere near them._

_Though Alex sat in the seat next to her, he was half-sprawled across her lap, trying as hard as he could to recieve some comfort. When he once again commented in a strained voice how much his ankle was causing him pain, she looked down at him and patted him on the back awkwardly. _

_She never was really comfortable being a loving parent to Alex. Mothering Brooke was a little bit easier because of how much she loved her daughter, but she was never comfortable being a Mother._

_"I know Alex, shhh..." _

_---------------------------------------------_

"How was school today Brooke?" John asked his daughter pleasantly at dinner that night. Brooke was his pride and joy. She made his marriage with Victoria go back to it's previous status of love and happiness.

"It was good Daddy." John smiled at her, she loved being a little Daddy's girl. The conversation at the large table began to pick up about the upcoming cheerleading season, Brooke and Victoria's planned shopping trips, and where John would be traveling next on business.

For a moment, John basked in his perfect little family. His loving wife, his beautiful daughter...

"Is anyone coming to my soccer game tomorrow?" And then that little bastard has to ruin everything just like he has been doing since the day he was born.

Alex sat silently at the dinner table the same way that he sat at the lunch table. He did the same exact thing by listening to the other's talk animatedly, and not speaking a word. But during a moment of dead air, he mustered up his courage enough to ask.

Sadly, he knew what the exact answer would be. And he braced himself for the unpolitely worded rejection that was inevitable.

But instead of rewarding Alex with any sort of a response, rejection or not, Victoria pointedly ignored her son. It was better to act like he didn't exist, as Victoria did not take pleasure in hurting him. Though she hurt him a lot, she never enjoyed it.

"Ignoring me...That's original." Alex mumbled to himself so lowly that he assumed that no one at the table heard him. But when his mother...excuse me...Victoria, put her silverware down on her plate and stared up angrily at Alex, who's head was was bowed and close to his food.

"Alexander Preston Davis, go to your room now!" Alex gladly stood up, eager to be away from the family that he never seemed to belong to.

"Yes Victoria" Alex slammed his chair against the oak table for emphasis before stalking out of the kitchen. But as he began to scale the stairs to go to his room, he was stopped by John's voice breaking the fragile silence.

"Don't worry about him Tori, his behavior isn't your fault. Bad breeding, that's what he is. It's not you, look at Brooke, she is the perfect daughter. So it's George's genes that make him a trouble maker, not yours."

Alex stood shocked as he eaves dropped on the conversation. Who was George? He knew that John wasn't his father, the man had made him painfully aware of that fact when he was a small child. But did that mean this father was this George person? If so, then where was he?

Hurrying up the stairs so he wouldn't get caught and fall into more trouble, Alex tried to figure out who 'George' was, and where 'George' was.

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Where was his father?

Lying on his bed, he watched the ceiling fan turn continuously turn, just like the curious wheels in his head. It was one o'clock in the morning, and he heard Brooke sneak out only an hour before. 'Perfect daughter' Yeah right.

There was no way that he could sleep at the moment with the new development. The only information that he had ever recieved about the man who sired him was that he was a man that wanted nothing to do with his mistake of a son.

He had been hearing that since he was six years old. Not exactly a moral booster for a little boy who just wanted to know where his Daddy was, but that was the way that things had been his entire life.

Thinking about his childhood made his insomnia even worse. His whole life, he had been taken care of adequatly. Victoria had provided for her son adequately, while keeping him at more than an arms length the whole time. His day today had been adequate, and adequate basically summed up his whole life, and everything that he did.

If only 'adequate' was so gut wrenchingly crushing.

Alex wanted more than adequate. He wanted to find somewhere that he belonged. No matter where he seemed to be, whether it be at home with his Mom, or school with the soccer team, he never belonged, not fully anyway. He was always somewhere that he just didn't belong

Maybe he belonged with George, and maybe George could give him something more than adequate. Or maybe he could even get the purpose in life that he was searching for.

If only he knew who George even was.

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No reviews? I have to admit, I'm slightly disappointed. I know that this story is way off base than you guys are used to reading, but please, give it a chance. Things will get better and more interesting. I wanted to show a normal day for Alex be before I launched this story into it's main plot. I'm begging you guys for some reviews. Please... Luv Broody


	3. Sick For Someone I Never Knew

Disclaimer: All characters and situations from _One Tree Hill_ are properties of Mark Schwahn, and CBS Warner Television. No copyright infringement intended.

Somewhere I Don't Belong

Chapter 2

Sick For Someone I Never Knew

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Brooke tip-toed as discreetly as she could to the kitchen entrance to her large home. In her state of being slightly tipsy and very sleepy, there was no way that she could climb up the white trellis on the side of the house that led straight to the bay window in her room.

Because it was about four o'clock in the morning, I knew that no one in the house would be awake to catch me coming back from Theresa's party. My night had been pretty standard, house party, drinking, making out with guys, and playing drinking games. But the only thing that had sucked about tonight was Peyton and Lucas. They were flaunting their relationship right in front of her, and Brooke had to admit that it hurt.

Peyton had knew about her best friend's crush on the older Scott brother, and she had still disregarded Brooke's feelings and gone after him.

After she closed the door behind her and locked it, she leaned against it and sighed in relief. No one had caught her. In the darkness, Brooke knew that she couldn't navigate the kitchen without ending up with some bruises and stubbed toes.

As she turned on the light and dimmed it, a figure sitting in a chair at the island caught scared her.

"Alex! What are you doing up?" Brooke knew that her big brother would never tell on her, they had too much of an understanding between siblings. She was just surprised to see someone awake.

"I couldn't sleep. What's your excuse?" He asked sarcastically as he stood up from his stool and went to make his little sister a glass of water.

"Sleepwalking. Thanks Alex." Brooke smiled at Alex as he sat a glass of water in front of her and sat next to her.

Smirking, things were silent between the half-siblings for a few moments. Brooke enjoyed these moments with her brother when they were alone with each other. When other people were around, Brooke was forced to be the perfect society daughter, or the head cheerleader. And when her parents were around, they didn't like her spending too much time with her illegitimate broher.

Brooke hated having to pretend to be cold to Alex, as she knew that he got enough ice from their Mother. As long as Alex knew that she loved her brother though, he would never hold her accountable for how she behaved to him when she had to be a cheerleader or a society daughter.

Alex had never been held to the standards of a society boy. All his life he had always been looked on as 'bad breeding', and no one really associated with him. At all of the exravagant parties that Victoria and John attended, Alex remembered telling the other kids that he had some horrible disease to mess with them, and make them go cry to their parents.

Victoria's screeching voice in his ear and John's hand clasped to the scruff of his neck were always the end result of such antics.

"So why can't you sleep Alex?"

"Brooke, did Mom or John ever tell you anything about a guy named George?" Alex looked at his sister curiosly, hoping to get an answer that George was just some regular guy that had no sort of tie with him. He just wanted answers.

"Um, I've heard them fight a lot of times about a guy named George. And at dinner they talked about 'George's' DNA being your problem. Do you think that he is your father?"

Brooke looked inquisitive. She had always known the gaping hole that was left in her brother by his lack of a father that was willing to step up for him. John always made his position clear that he wasn't going to have anything to do with fathering 'the bastard boy'.

"Yeah I do."

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The euphoria, the cheers and the feeling of the guys jumping all over him all melted together as Alex was celebrated for making the game winning goal. In the middle of the field, Alex couldn't see anything other than the colors of white, black, and blue jumping on him and praising him for his soccer talents.

This was where Alex Davis thrived the most. He was somewhere that people appreciated his talents, his self-esteem was boosted, and for once he felt accepted.

Soon after, the fans, friends, and parents of the Tree Hill team stormed the field and congratulate the players. Alex scanned the field, hoping to see someone coming his way. His team mates were all getting encouragement from their closest friends and parents, and suddenly he felt very isolated.

All around him, people celebrated the win that sent them to the finals of sectionals. Random people would pat him on his back and congratulate him, but these sentiments meant nothing because they didn't come from anyone in his family.

Alex couldn't take this anymore. Not just what was happening at the moment, but his whole life. The solitude, the isolation, the unacceptance. Everything was causing his heart to splinter inside his chest and the pieces were stuck in the walls.

Where was his support? He had Brooke, but most of the time that relationship felt conditional, like they were only siblings on her terms. He knew that she always meant well, but right now, Alex wanted constant companionship, and no one, not even his Mom seemed willing to give it to him.

There had to be something out there that was better than this. Someone that could give him the unconditional love that he wanted. Someone that could fill the gaping hole that felt like it was visible to the whole world.

George...

He had to find the man that he thought was his father. Maybe this George guy could be just the thing that he needed to leave this place that he never belonged to.

_"Mommy, John says that he isn't my Daddy! Who is my Daddy?" Four and a half year-old Alex tugged on his Mommy's skirt, upset tears sliding down his face._

_"John isn't your father, your father is a bad man who doesn't want you." The tone that Victoria gave her son was very sweet, and one wouldn't think that she was hurting her son._

_"Why doesn't he want me? Why isn't he here?" Alex tried not to let his sobs choke up his already muffled child-like words. Tugging even harder on Victoria's skirt, he tried to get some comforting answers from her._

_"He left before you were born, and don't pull on my skirt!" Victoria detatched the little boy's hands from her skirt while trying to walk away. She didn't like to think about the bag of scum that she felt Alex's father was. The memories weren't painful, they were only shameful. _

_"But Mommy!" Alex protested loudly while grasping for anything he could reach. A crying sound from the nursery caused Victoria to look back fiercely at her four year-old._

_"Now look what you did! Go to your room Alexander!" His tears now uncontrollable, Alex ran down the hall and into his room._

Alex knew that if he had any chance of finding his father, first he had to go to Victoria.

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Not even having bothered to change from his soccer uniform, Alex went straight home to find his Mother. Immediately he found her in the kitchen talking to a few other high class women that he recognized from parties. Almost instantly she noticed her disarrayeds son standing in her spotless kitchen.

"Alex, you're filthy! You are dirtying up the whole house! What is the matter with you?" Victoria sounded angry as she saw Alex still in his soccer uniform, which was sweat soaked, muddy and had grass stains everywhere. There were also a few mud stains on Alex's face, and in his hair.

"Mom, I need to talk to you please." Alex didn't care that he forgot to call his mother by her first name, and he didn't care that he was filthy. He just wanted to know about 'George' and his father.

"Alexander, I told you not to call me Mom, and if you haven't noticed, I'm busy." Her tone was just as sharp and biting as she wanted it to be. She was extremely embarassed at Alex's lack of manners toward her guests, his filthy appearance, and just plain having him present in front of such gossiping ladies.

Victoria's cheeks burned as she listened to the women beside her whisper to each other.

"Bad breeding" "Trouble maker" and "No help for him" Were a few of their choice words. This was beyond humiliating to her and just as she was about to snap viciously at the sixteen year-old boy, he spoke again.

"Mom, please." Alex's voice was desperate and pleading, and Victoria just couldn't ignore it. The pitch brought out something in her that rarely occurred for Alex, a maternal feeling that she had to act on.

"Excuse me ladies." Victoria motioned for Alex to follow her to her home office where they could talk privately.

Walking past the woman that felt that they were better than him, Alex gladly returned their cold and snobby glares, much to the distatste of Victoria.

"What did you feel was so important that you had to interrupt our planning for the Cotillion evening, the one that your sister will be in by the way." Crossing her arms over her chest, Victoria turned to Alex.

"Who is George?" The question was very accusing and abrupt. Most of all, it caught Victoria Davis off-guard. That was an accomplishment in itself.

Victoria sat down at her desk and tried to find something to keep herself occupied so she wasn't staring directly at the spawn of George and herself. But Alex's stare was too much to overcome.

The similarities between George and his son were impeccable. Alex's mop of hair that fell over his eyes was brown with a hint of reddish hint, from George. Though his eyes were her's, the rest of the masculine features belonged to his father.

"Where did you hear about George?" Since Alex was at an early age, she had tried to crush and questions that he had about having a father. She figured that if little Alex knew that his Daddy wanted nothing to do with him, that grown Alex would have given up any sort of questions and curiosities.

"Last night when John was talking about my 'bad breeding'. Is George my father?" Alex didn't feel like beating around the bush in this conversation. His soul was in too much distress to handle games right now.

Victoria figured that most mothers that had children with absentee fathers would pull out a picture of that Dad at this point and explain everything to the child. Then they would tell a story of young love that coulnd't handle pregnancy, or maybe a tragic accident that claimed the man's life.

None of these things appiled here, and she didn't even have a picture to show Alex.

"Yes Alex, George is your father." Victoria sighed and prepared herself for the barrage of questions that were sure to come.

Alex was surprised that he had gotten this many answers out of Victoria. Normally if he tried to get this personally with his Mother, she would have thrown him out and told him to go to his room.

"Well where is he? Does he know about me?" Victoria was dangerously close to pushing Alex away with harsh words. She didn't want to get this deep in matters that brought her so much discomfort and shame.

But Alex deserved to know about his father. Even if the man was a cold son of a bitch that wanted nothing to do with his bastard child.

"Yes Alex, he knows about you. When I found out I was pregnant, he called me a slut and you a mistake." Where Victoria's voice would have normally been biting and ripping to Alex, she sounded ashamed of herself.

That was a new development for Alex, and a crushing blow at the same time. He couldn't really fathom his thoughts and feelings. He could only muster one question; a question that could save his hopes about George.

"Did you love him?" Finally, an easily answered question for Victoria. Though she knew the reply would be crippling to Alex, she knew exactly what to say.

"No, I was already married to John at the time, and George was a slimy son of a bitch that wanted a bit more prompting to seal a major business deal. And making this deal was vital to my career, so I did what I had to do, and I made a reckless mistake." There was no hint of remorse for Alex as he stared at his mother in disbelief.

"Do you know where to find him?" That was almost as surprising as Alex asking about his father in the first place.

"You are not going to find him Alex. I haven't heard from him since I called him and left him a message the day I had you. He didn't want you then, and he won't want you now Alex." Victoria was out of her sympathetic maternal mode, and back to society woman who cared more about appearances than her son's breaking heart.

"I'm going to find him." The determination that Alex was showing scared Victoria. He was still recovering from the 'reckless mistake' blow she had delivered, and yet he was already trying to prove her wrong. She didn't want him to find his father. If anyone asked, it was because the man was dispicable and a terrible man. But she had different motives.

Seeing George would most certainly spark more issues in her marriage to John, and the gossip that would start up would never be extinguished. But the reason deep in her heart, the one reason that she would never admit was that she didn't want Alex to see George because he son would be completely crushed by the blow of his father's rejection.

"Go change Alexander, you are a mess, and I don't want you making the house dirty." Alex understood the look in his mother's eyes that were identical to his, that the conversation was over.

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He didn't want the tears to fall. With all his might he tried not to blink and have to feel the shame of tears sliding down his face. To give Victoria the hold over his emotions always made him weak. He had promised himself ever since he turned eleven that he would never give his Mom the puppet strings to his emotions.

This was the first time that he allowed himself to shed such powerful emotions because of Victoria in a long time.

Alex wanted to think that she was just being selfish and lying to him about his father. There was no way that his father thought that he was a reckless mistake. It just couldn't be.

He wanted to believe that George never knew about his son, and that if he knew, he would be glad and accepting. Alex wanted to believe that more than anything.

But somehow, he knew that Victoria wasn't lying about his father disregarding him. Victoria never lied to him. In fact, she was never afraid to tell him the truth; the bitter, cold, harsh truth, even when he was young.

Alex wouldn't give up his dream of acceptance this easily though. He wanted to belong somewhere so badly that he wouldn't listen to what his Mother said about George.

George had to accept him as his son. He just had to. This acceptance was vital for Alex. Without it, he wasn't sure how he would continue with his life of isolation and not belonging.

He would do this, with or without Victoria's help.

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Thanks so much to those of you who reviewed. I appreciatel anyone who takes the time to either drop a paragraph of constructive criticism, or a sentence just telling me that you enjoyed it. I realized today while I wrote this that the plot is moving quite fast. Normally my stories move excruciatingly slow. I hope that you guys really like this story, despite how AU it is. Thanks for reading, Broody.


	4. With You or Without You

Disclaimer: All characters and situations from _One Tree Hill_ are properties of Mark Schwahn, and CBS Warner Television. No copyright infringement intended.

Somewhere I Don't Belong

Chapter 3

With or Without You

Author's Note - This chapter is dedicated to leyton4life, Suziebw212,and Simone1. These guys give me a lot of support in their reviews and I appreciate it so much. Thanks guys, it means a lot to me! Love Broody

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John sat on the large king sized bed that he shared with his wife. He was wearing his reading glasses and had the Finance section of the news paper in front of him.

He was rather concerned about the odd behavior that Victoria displayed tonight. She seemed frazzled, and that was rare. Victoria Davis was never frazzled, she was organized, calculated and in control of almost every situation that she was involved in.

Dinner that night had been quiet and tense, with only a few words about the upcoming Cotillion being exchanged between Brooke and her Mother.

What had angered John the most was that Alex hadn't even shown up for dinner. He was upstairs in his room, pouting about something. And when John had offered to teach the boy a little respect, Victoria had declined, telling him to leave Alex alone.

Normally, John never had anything to do with Alexander Davis. The boy wasn't his, and his mere existence had nearly destroyed his marriage. When the boy was an infant or toddler, John wouldn't care for him, tend to his needs, or hold him when he was distressed. The only thing that he ever did for Alex was he fed the boy once while Victoria was nursing Brooke.

When he did have contact with Alex, it was never very pleasant for the boy. Normally the confrontation involved a lecture of respect and holding the boy against the wall by the front of his shirt and telling him to adjust his attitude.

But tonight Victoria had told him to leave Alex alone while they ate. That was very unlike her.

As she walked in the room, now wearing her night wear, John looked away from his news paper, and up at his wife. She still looked frazzled and distressed about something.

"Tori honey, are you okay? You look completely exhausted." Patting the spot beside him, he invited her to come and lay beside him.

Victoria took off all the jewelery that she was wearing as she listened to her husband. Each earring, bracelet, necklace, and ring came off and was placed into her enormous vanity to distract her from answering immediately.

Should she tell him about Alex finding out about George being his father and wanting to go find him? Or should she just make up some excuse, like plans for Cotillion, and shopping with Brooke for her dress.

Bringing up the subject of George could spark a fight between her and John, but at the same time, if she wasn't honest, then she would be caught in a string of lies and cause her husband to question her.

"Alex asked about his father tonight." Victoria climbed in bed next to John, hoping that the warmth of her figure would remind John she she loved him and only him.

"He always used to ask about his father. What did you tell him this time? The man doesn't want his illegitimate son?"

Victoria sighed when her husband called Alex 'illegitimate'. She never did like it when John would call him that or 'bastard'.

"He knows about George." She interrupted his depricating chuckles about her son's lack of knowledge about his father. George's laugh stopped abruptly.

"How does he know about George? Does he know that George is his father?" John was now in the same state of being frazzled as his wife.

"He heard you talking about him last night at dinner, and I had to tell him that George was his father. I tried to tell him that the man doesn't want anything to do with him, but he didn't want to listen to me."

Victoria sighed when she thought about how discouraged her son's expression looked when she told him about the circumstances of his conception. But she could easily see that he was in denial and wanted to see George for himself.

"John, he wants to find George." After she had told Alex to leave, she had searched her files for any information on where George might be. An hour later, after searching her files and the internet, she found where George was currently working. He was the Cheif Executive Officer at an accounting business.

But she didn't find him so that Alex would be free to go to his father and get his feelings permanently crushed. Victoria found him so that she could get in contact with him again. Not to have an affair or sort out any feelings, but to see if he wanted anything to do with his son.

Victoria would allow Alex to see his father if George was willing.

"So let him. George made it clear that he didn't want anything to do with his son, and Alex can't seem to get it that George doesn't want him. So let him go, let George teach him a lesson."

Victoria had always turned a blind eye to her husband's cruelty toward Alex. She always thought that her son needed some sort of fatherly influence in his life, and the thing besides John that came closest was his junior league soccer coach. Though she knew that John was down right mean, she turned her back.

But not this time. What John was suggesting would send Alex into a downward spiral that she wasn't sure he could recover from. And Victoria wasn't going to stand aside and watch John ruin Alex.

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Alex was in luck that Saturday morning.

John was out golfing with some of his co-workers and wouldn't be back for at least five hours. Brooke and his Mother were also out for the day. They were shopping for pristine Cotillion gowns, and though Victoria said they would be back in only two hours, Alex knew that gown shopping always meant an all day trip where they came home in a bad mood and no gown.

He had gotten a call from earlier from Jake, who told him that the team was getting together for a meeting about the upcoming game. If he planned to go to that meeting, he only had three hours to search the house.

Alex was on a mission to find out anything that he could about George. He was going to find his father without the help of Victoria.

Entering his Mother's office and closing the door behind him, he felt incredibly tense. The atmosphere made Alex feel as if someone was watching him, and that frayed his nerves. Victoria's personality did the same thing to him.

As he made his way to the other side of her desk, he made a mental picture of where everything was. If Victoria noticed that something had been moved, she would surely send John after him. His first place to start his search was through her file cabinet.

The regal looking large oak file cabinet was almost taller than him as he pulled open random drawers. The top few were all business files with boring ledgers and paper work. Alex was just about to give up on his search through the file cabinet when he reached the bottom drawer.

The majority of the drawer was a file labeled "Brooke Penelope Davis". Flipping through, he found her birth certificate, many cards announcing her birth, and numerous papers packets of paper work for her.

Alex felt kind of discouraged when he saw how large the file for his sister was. The file took up so much of the drawer that the little folder in the back labeled "Alex".

Picking up the thin folder, he didn't find any of the birth celebrations that were in Brooke's. No 'It's A Boy' cards, or congratulaion cards from other people. All he found was some paper work, his birth certificate and a hand made Mother's Day card that he made when he was five.

_"That is a very pretty card Alex. Your Mommy is going to love it." The kindergarten teacher complimented the craftmanship of the five year-old. The boy seemed to want to work harder than the other children on making the card for their moms._

_Alex smiled at her with his gapped teeth, thriving on the positive attention. Having rarely recieved any at home, he soaked this up like a sponge._

_For the next twenty minutes, the teacher let Alex continue working on his card while the other children went out for recess. Relentlessly, he wore down all of his crayons in his effort to make the Mother's Day card extra special._

_An hour later, the final school bell rang and the teacher led her class outside to their designated spot to wait for the parents to pick up their children. She looked down at Alex, who held his card protectively, trying to keep it from the dirty ground, and the rowdy boys. _

_Victoria Davis's intimidating figure walked up to the place where she always picked up her son from school. The teacher looked sadly at Alex, because his Mother always treated him like an inconvenience when she picked him up. _

_Before Alex had the chance to hand his Mother his card, Victoria roughly clasped his hand and pulled him along. Once inside the car, Alex was sitting in the car beside his sleeping sister who sat in a car seat. As Victoria strapped the seat belt around him, he handed her the card._

_"Mommy, I made this at school for you today. My teacher said it was pretty and that you would really like it." Victoria looked over the card and read the childish hand writing before looking at her son's anxious eyes. She could tell that he was waiting for some praise and thanks for making her a card._

_"Oh did she?" Victoria shut the car door and got into the driver's seat sternly. As she drove off from the school, she looked in the rear view mirror at Brooke. She smiled as she saw the angelic smile on her sleeping face._

_Just a glance over, she saw how distressed that Alex looked as he sat silently. He had tears in his eyes, and his bottom lip was trembling, but the little boy didn't let the tears fall._

Coming out of his flash back, Alex couldn't believe that his Mother had kept this all these years. That had been the last card that he made for Victoria because the next year, Brooke had made a card and it was placed on the refrigerator.

Placing his card back into the folder, he pulled out his birth certificate curiously. Everything was pretty standard information for Alex. His length, weight, fact that he was delivered by C-Section, and the date and time were all listed.

Then he found exactly what he was looking for. Under the name of the father, the name 'George Sanders' was written.

"George Sanders...Dad." He whispered to himself, feeling the name of his father of his lips for the first time. He felt like he could get used to saying this.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Oh shit..."

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Victoria Davis stormed into her house after shopping with Brooke. The dresses that the girl picked out for her Cotillion were hideous.

Why was Brooke always so uncooperative when they went shopping together. Brooke never liked the gowns that her Mother picked out and she wouldn't even try them on. Finally after an hour of shopping and a fight, Victoria decided that they would be better off going home.

When she got home, Victoria headed to her home office to check if she had any missed call from her regular office, or a message from her secretary.

Opening the door, she was stunned to see the lanky figure of Alex standing in front of her open file cabinet, reading the file that she had kept for him.

"George Sanders...Dad." She heard Alex's raspy voice say before she processed everything and could react.

"What are you doing in here?" She snapped sternly, effectively catching her son's attention and surprising him to the point that he jumped when he heard her voice.

Alex jumped and nearly dropped the folder he was holding when he heard Victoria's voice behind him. When he turned around and saw that it was indeed her, he berated himself for not being more attentive and noticing the door open.

"What are you doing home?" The question was lame, but it was the only one he could think of that didn't involve George Sanders.

"What are you doing in my office Alex? And why are you going through my things?" Victoria stalked up to the paralyzed Alex and ripped the folder and birth certificate from his hands. She was fuming with anger at this breach of her privacy. Her son had no right to search through her things to find out anything about George Sanders.

"I was looking for some information about George. I want to find him Mom, and..." Alex tried to appeal to Victoria, even though this was the exact opposite of how he imagined his search going. He did find out the full name of his father though, that was a victory that his Mother couldn't rip from him.

"No, I forbid you to go look for him. Now get out of my office Alex." Victoria was surprised because normally when she used that tone, her son would scurry away and leave her alone. But right now he was standing his ground.

"Mom, why won't you let me find him? I know that you know where he is."

"I told you yesterday Alex, he doesn't want you. Why would you want to find him?" Victoria organized her files again, and as she sorted through Alex's, she saw that the little card was in a different spot, which meant that he had seen that she had kept it all these years.

"Because he's my father. I have a right to know him." Victoria scoffed, she knew that Alex had this right, but she also knew that George wouldn't want to know him, and she had to protect her son from that pain.

"I'm your Mother and I have a right to keep you away from seeing him. And that is what I am telling you to do Alexander Preston Davis. Don't try to find him." Victoria stepped close to Alex and pointed her finger to his chest.

"I'm going to do this Mom, with or without your help."

Alex spoke desperately to his Mother, showing his determination to do this, no matter how many times that he was told that his father did want him, or that Victoria wouldn't let him.

There it was again, that same desperate and pleading tone that made Victoria feel maternal again. It was hard to deny those feelings for her son when he sounded so sad.

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"George William Sanders"

Alex typed the name in to the internet search engine as he sat in front of his laptop that same night. His mouse hesitated over the search button, knowing that what this search could bring up could change his whole life.

For good...He might find somewhere and someone that he finally belonged to.

Or for bad...Victoria could be right that his father didn't want him when he was born, and he wouldn't want him now, sixteen years later.

Diddling his finger, he finally gained the courage to press the search button. Nearly two seconds later, the search results appeared on the screen.

The first result was exactly what he was looking for. It announced Mr. Georege William Sanders as the CEO of a company that made frequent deals with the business that his Mother worked at. This had to be him.

**Mr. George W. Sanders at age 51 is the Chief Executive Officer of International Trades Company.**

As soon as he looked up the address of the main building where International Trades was located, in Charloette, North Carolina, Alex knew that he could travel and see his father.

"That's it. Found him."

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Thanks so much to those of you who reviewed, especially Suziebw212, leyton4life, and Simone1. Your reviews are very motivating and I appreciate it. Thanks again. Love Broody


	5. Tears Are Never Enough For You

Disclaimer: All characters and situations from _One Tree Hill_ are properties of Mark Schwahn, and CBS Warner Television. No copyright infringement intended.

Somewhere I Don't Belong

Chapter 4

Tears Are Not Enough

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Being a Mother to Alex had probably been the most difficult feat in Victoria Davis's life. From the first moment that she held his frail infant figure in her arms, to him being an independent sixteen year-old with a mind of his own, she had struggled with how to parent him.

Her first disappointment was that he was male. Boys were rambunctious, messy, and exactly the opposite of what she wanted.

Victoria had almost felt like a single mother during most of Alex's child hood. John had refused anything to do with being a father to the being that had destroyed the trust he held in his wife. The man had barely let Alex have the last name 'Davis'.

She had basically learned all by herself how to feed, diaper, bathe, burp, and comfort an infant child. These lessons served her well after she had Brooke.

But there had been some days that Victoria had just wanted to give up on mothering Alex, he was so attached to her as a baby that she couldn't take the fact that he loved her more than she could bear to love him. There were days where she would lay in bed, or sit in her office and just listen to Alex cry. She would listen to his distressed sobbing, not being able to bring herself to comfort him, for he reminded her too much of her shame and George.

Becoming pregnant with Brooke had been a relief for Victoria, John, and their marriage. Alex was only two months old when she became pregnant again, and those two months in the Davis mansion were tension filled, and there was a heavy air of uncertainty whether their marriage could survive raising Victoria's illegitimate son when they had only been married three years.

Then she read the results of the home pregnancy test and saw the same smiley face that had told her that she was pregnant with Alex. She smiled back at the smiley face this time. Now she and John had a physical, tangible symbol of their love.

Brooke saved their marriage where Alex had destroyed it.

Mothering Brooke almost seemed to come naturally to her while nannys took care of Alex. She would sit for hours with her daughter in her arms, rocking back and forth in the rocking chair. She would never hesitate to run to her crib when Brooke would make noises. A far cry from how she took care of Alex.

Even now, when Alex was sixteen and Brooke was fifteen, she could see how differently she was treating her son and daughter.

Victoria was trying to teach her daughter everything that she knew about fashion, business and how to be a powerful woman, and while she was aware that sometimes she wasn't very warm with Brooke, she felt she was doing a wonderful job raising her.

On the other hand, she never went out of her way to teach Alex any lessons about being a good person. She left him alone to learn things on his own. Sort of like she treated her children when they were small toddlers.

But now she was being forced to care and teach her son. Alex was getting in over his head with meddling with issues with his father. He was dangerously curious about the man that had fathered him, and Victoria didn't want him to know about such issues.

In a way, Victoria felt that she had failed as his mother. Alex was apparently so unhappy with his current situation with his neglectful mother, and lack of a gather figure that he had to search out the man that abandoned him before he was even born.

For God's sake, she had forbidden Alex from calling her 'Mom' because she was too ashamed. That certainly didn't give her any positive points.

Being forced to be this much of a Mom to Alex was so afflicive to her. She had made a point to keep him at more than his arm's length for his whole life, that she wasn't sure that she knew how to be his Mom. Her Motherly instincts screamed at her to not let Alex find George, and to keep her son from feeling the devastation that George was surely to induce on him.

Her only obstacle now was finding a way to reign in Alex's determination. For it would inevitably cause him to walk into a world of hurt.

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_Victoria,_

_I am doing this without you._

_Your son, Alex._

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With the address of the building where his father worked, he drove off from the Davis house in the car that John and Victoria so generously allowed him to drive.

After soccer practice that day, his note to his mother successfully left exactly where she could find it, Alex began the three hour drive that would take him to his father. He did feel a little bit of guilt for possibly leaving the guys alone for the next game of sectionals, but they would have to understand. This was his father, the man that he had never met, but at the same time the man that was technically given him half of who he was.

Alex's nerves were making him grasp the steering wheel of the car with a knuckle whitening grip. There were so many uncertainties and variables that he was walking straight into with meeting his father. The prospect of seeing the man was terrifying to him actually.

Some of the uncertainties that really plagued him were the facts that Victoria had so cruelly told him.

What if George Sanders really didn't want anything to do with his son? What if Victoria was right and he had never cared that he fathered a child sixteen years before? What would he do if his father rejected him and ripped away his last chance at being somewhere he belonged?

That would never happen, Alex decided. George would be happy to meet his son, and they would start a thriving father-son relationship.

He would prove Victoria Davis, mother and enemy, that she was wrong. Alex's father did love him.

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"Alexander! Are you stupid?!?"

Victoria had found Alex's number in her cell phone and dialed it as fast as she could. She had found the letter from her son tacked onto the front of the closed door of her home office. Once she had read the letter, she dropped her tote bag to the ground.

"And a warm hello to you too Mom." Alex replied sarcastically, not in the least bit fazed by the hostile words. He'd heard them before.

"How is it that I come home from work today and find a cryptic letter that you have run off to find George when I clearly told you that you were forbidden to do so? You're sixteen and you've had your lisence for only six months! What is the matter with you?" Even with how angry that Victoria sounded, it didn't even touch how livid she really was about her son running off.

"I am doing exactly what the letter said; doing this without your support. I've lived without it for most of my life, so this shouldn't be too difficult."

Just as he was about to snap his phone shut and concentrate completely on driving, he heard Victoria's voice give a different tone; one not filled with angry disappointment.

"Alex, I'm asking you to not do this. George is a very cold man, he isn't interested in you and you will only get hurt. Please Alex, turn back and come home." Her last appeal was the closest that Victoria got to pleading with a person.

"How do you know that he won't want me? You said that you haven't been in contact with him since the day you had me." Alex was eager to hear Victoria's answer to that. He felt that he had pushed his mother into a corner, and that was a major switch of roles.

"He knows all about me having you and he hasn't seen you, offered money to take care of you or even called in sixteen years. Believe me Alex, he doesn't want his son." Victoria cringed when she said it, attacking Alex with her harsh words wasn't going to convince him to come home and not go through with finding his father.

"Thanks Mom, for reminding me that I am doing this without your help or support." Alex snapped his phone shut and slammed it into the closest cup holder, pissed off at himself.

Every time him and Victoria spoke, he never guarded himself from her words. His walls always seemed to crumble with her, even though he was certain that she would find a new way to hurt him. Something deeply rooted in him was afraid that if he kept his walls up, that he would miss her saying that she was proud of him, or that she loved him.

Though the hope that she wasn't totally ahsamed of him was thoroughly crushed when he was only thirteen, he collected shards of his hopes and pieced them together slowly, regaining some hope.

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_"Mom, could you please drive me to soccer practice?" A thirteen year-old Alex approached his Mother while she was having a luncheon with all wives that had recently moved into their gated community. _

_Usually he knew better than to ask her such a thing while she was busy talking with other people, as he had been severely yelled at the last time he did. But John, who had reluctantly told him that he would drive him to soccer practice, had 'accidentally forgotten' him while taking Brooke to cheerleading camp._

_With a sharp glare, Victoria turned toward her thirteen year-old son. He was standing only a few inches shorter than her after his recent growth spurt. In his soccer clothes, and desperately needing a hair cut, for his hair surpassed his eyes, Alex did not look like a clean cut kid. Definetly not her child._

_She almost panicked when she saw Alex standing behind her though. Victoria hadn't spoken of having a son to the women. She had proudly boasted about Brooke, but had sorely neglected to say that she had an illegitimate son. The only real reason that she failed to tell them was because she wanted to see how it felt to not have to live without the shame of people gossiping all about her._

_She wouldn't have to deal with a bastard son, an unfaithful fling, or a horrible mistake that is now in walking, talking, breathing, feeling form of her son._

_"Excuse me, nephews can be such pests sometimes." Victoria said, embarassed yet at the same time, painfully aware at the dreadfully confused expression on Alex's face. _

_"But Mom, I'm not you're..." Alex protested as his arm was roughly grasped by Victoria and pulled to an area where their exchange could not be heard by the other ladies._

_"Haven't I told you to never interrupt me when I am talking to other people?" She snapped, not letting her hold on his arm lessen in the least bit. _

_"But Mom, I need to get to soccer practice, the big game is tomorrow and the coach said..." Alex pleaded with his mom, knowing that the coach said that whoever didn't attend the practice, would be benched the next day during the game._

_"I don't care Alexander, you are not to interrupt me, ever! And do not call me 'Mom' anymore." Victoria now grabbed Alex's other arm for emphasis. She knew that forbidding him his right as her child to call her 'Mom', was a bit, or maybe a lot harsh, but the part of her that was still caught up in her mistake that she made almost fourteen years before._

_"Why Mom..." He spoke rashly, not remembering the forbidden name. The things that his mother was saying to him were hurtful, yet confusing at the same time. He wanted to believe that he was just mixing up the messages. But Victoria never sent mixed messages, just the cold, hard, brutal truth._

_"Just do what I say and don't call me Mom. Now leave me alone." As she let go of his arms, she gave a tiny shove to him._

_Alex decided right then and there that he wouldn't let Victoria have a full grip on his emotions. She would not hurt him as easily anymore. If she didn't want to be his Mother, then he would return the favor. Victoria no longer had control over her son._

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"Mom, why isn't Alex home yet? Soccer practice ended an hour ago, and he never goes out with the guys." Brooke's voice echoed through the house until she found her Mother in her home office. If someone was ever going to search for Victoria, her office was the best bet.

After searching through the house, Brooke hadn't been able to find her half-brother, and that worried her. She had heard how curious he was about his father, and she had been afraid that he would do something rash if he ever found out what the truth was.

Victoria sat at her desk, fiddling with her cell phone and looking generally distressed. This was a side of Victoria Davis that her daughter had never seen. The woman was usually regal looking, strong and intimidating; never distressed and having worry lines tattooed on her forehead.

Once she had processed what her daughter was saying, she looked up at her and answered.

"Brooke, Alex left this afternoon to go find his father without telling me. I had specifically told him to stay away from his father, but he went behind my back." Her voice was laced with worry, something that she usually never had for Alex.

"Why would you want to keep Alex away from his Dad? He has every right to meet him."

"You don't understand Brooke dear, Alex's father is not the kind of man that is interested in having a son. I called him numerous times during the pregnancy, and the day that I had your brother. He said the same thing every time. That I was a slut trying to pin my bastard child on him." Victoria had a hard time looking into her daughter's eyes, as she was so ashamed that a man had done such a thing to her without her backlashing.

"Mom, we have to stop him. His Dad is going to hurt him." Brooke couldn't bear the thought of Alex going to find his father and having his feelings and hopes crushed. She remembered vividly about how excited that her half-brother had been to have an idea who his father was. Oh, this was going to kill him.

"I already tried Brooke. I called him and told him all about how his father was, and he didn't believe me. Alex is determined to find him and I'm not sure there is much more we can do than let him make this mistake on his own." This alternative gravely worried Victoria, and it gave her a feeling of helplesness. She wasn't sure exactly what it was, but it felt like she couldn't do anything to help her son while he was walking into a situation that would damage him.

Part of her knew that Alex's unsatiable curiosity would never be alleviated until her saw his father for himself, and that he wouldn't believe the things that she said until he experienced them.

Brooke scoffed at her Mom before turning to leave the office.

"I guess I shouldn't have expected any more from you Mom. You never really have cared for me or Alex."

How could her Mom be so callous to her son's feeling when he was about to to have his dignity ripped from him, his emotions shredded, and his hopes mutilated by the man that fathered him.

Not being able to deal with being in the same house as her Mom, Brooke stealthily snatched a set of car keys from the key rack and exited the house, prepared to go to Peyton's house. Even though her and her best friend were in a rough patch lately over Lucas, she knew that she could still trust her to comfort her about whatever she needed.

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Alex made it to the International Accounting Building at about nine o'clock that night. After driving nearly two and a half hours, more than he had ever driven straight, he was exhausted.

The building's lobby was lit up and there were a few random business looking people visible through the glass windows and the rotating door. Alex had been afraid that the business had been closed and his whole trip had been a waste.

Parking the car across the street, Alex crossed through the traffic and entered the extremely large building via the chrome revolving door. The receptionist looked up at him with her fake plastered smile that she probably wore all day. Alex nervously shuffled forward to the secretary.

"Hello, what may I help you with?" The woman smiled at him politely, but Alex could tell that she was on guard. He guessed that she normally dealt with middle aged people in dress suits, ties, jackets, and polished shoes everyday. Not teenaged boys who wore layered t-shirts, worn jeans, and dirty tennis shoes.

"Uh hi, I was wondering if I could speak to George Sanders?" Alex faked his stoicism as he rocked back and forth on his feet. He was only minutes away from meeting his Dad and he didn't feel like exchanging words with some stranger.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Sanders only takes appointments." The secretary spoke in her most polite voice, slightly worried about such a scruffy boy coming in off the streets at nine at night.

Alex was slightly thrown off. He had never thought about having to get an appointment to see his own father. But he wasn't about to give up. He wanted to see George too much.

"But I just want to talk to him, please." Alex put his hands on the marble counter, feeling slightly desperate. This woman just didn't understand. He only wanted to see his Dad, but he couldn't tell her that, for George wouldn't recognize his son.

"I'm sorry but you have to have an appointment. Mr. Sanders does have a twenty minute opening tomorrow at 9:40 A.M. if you would like." Alex nearly jumped at the offer.

"Yea, I would like an appointment." Although he had to wait overnight, he now had a garunteed time that he would meet his father. And he only had to wait about twelve hours.

"And what name would you like me to put down."

Alex thought about that for a moment, he wanted to put down that he was George Sanders' son, for he was proud of that fact. But he would have to keep ahold of those hopes just yet. Alex would have to wait to meet his father before proudly calling himself his son.

"Just Alex"

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Hey guys, thanks so much to all of the reviewers. I know I put this in every chapter but I can't say enough how much that you're feedback and reviews mean to me. They give me so much motivation to write this story. So please tell me what you think. Thanks, Broody.


	6. Hemorrhage In My Hands

Disclaimer: All characters and situations from _One Tree Hill_ are properties of Mark Schwahn, and CBS Warner Television. No copyright infringement intended.

**Author's Note - **I am not sure if the legal information is completely accurate and I apologize for any confusion that may come along with any false details. Thankyou for reading, Broody.

Somewhere I Don't Belong

Chapter 5

Hemorrhage In My Hands

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Victoria had laid awake in bed the whole night with her cell phone near, waiting for a call from either an irate George Sanders, or a devastated Alex Davis. Her worries never ceased through the night as the possible scenarios played out in her mind.

The scenarios ranged from Alex getting crushed and becoming a near recluse, to George having changed into a decent man that wanted to do right by his son. She worried about the first option the most, for Alex had already experienced harsh unacceptance from his Mom, and to have his Dad act in a similar matter was unthinkable.

She really had no idea how her son was feeling right now. Victoria had been wanted all her life, by men, friends, and especially her parents, who prized their only daughter. To be completely unwanted was a foreign concept to her and she wasn't sure if she was going to know how to comfort him if he came home to her nursing feelings of not being wanted.

The previous night she had tried to call George and warn him of the ambush that he was about to experience. She especially wanted to plead with him not to hurt their son. George was the type of business man that enjoyed overkill, and he never did things just enough to complete them, he had to over do it and make sure that things were complete.

Of course she never was able to get ahold of him. Apparently George Sanders was too busy and important to take calls that weren't important to multi-million dollar business deals.

Her only hope now was that Alex experienced the same thing and wasn't able to reach George. That way he wouldn't have to experience the rejection and humiliation face to face with his father.

"Please George, don't hurt him. Don't crush our son."

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Well, it was almost zero-hour. The time was nine o'clock and he was due to meet with George, his father, in only fourty minutes.

Alex sighed as he looked in the mirror. He hadn't expected to have to wait another day to meet his father, and the only other outfit that he had packed wasn't exactly a business suit.

He was wearing another pair of jeans, and another set of layered t-shirts, their colors gray and black. And while he didn't look a grungy kid, he still looked like a teenaged boy who didn't value fashion; Just another one of Victoria's many disappointments when it came to him.

This wasn't exactly the first impression that he wanted his father to have of him, but it would have to do. Besides, George proabably won't really care what his son is wearing.

As he checked the hotel clock, he decided that he should probably leave for the International Accounting Building.

Hardly able to contain his frayed nerves, as he couldn't even hold his hand steady, Alex left the hotel and began driving.

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9:40 A.M.

The same secretary had given him directions to find George's office. He had to go to the top florr of the building, which just had been the longest, most awkward elevator ride that he had ever experienced. With all of the business men coming in an out of the elevator, every single one of them gave him an uncomfortable look.

If they only knew that he was the son of George Sanders.

As he got to the top floor, he saw that he was in what looked like another lobby, one in smaller scale. Walking up to the desk, he found another secretary, this one named Susan.

"Hi, um, I have an appointment with George...Mr. Sanders." Alex couldn't stand without adrenaline flowing through him and making him shaky.

"Of coure...Alex...Mr. Sanders is expecting you. Right this way." Susan led him to a large, intimidating looking door, one with golden plates on the door that gave all of George's titles.

This was it. The time that he had been waiting for the first time that he ever asked where his father was. He was about to meet his Dad.

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As Alex walked in the room, he felt weak and his legs took on the consistency of of jello. His mind was pulling a blank as he layed eyes on the man that sired him.

George Sanders was sitting at his desk that was covered in different stacks of papers. He was reading the finance section of the USA Today while he sipped from his coffee cups. After a few moments, and a prompt from Susan, George finally noticed Alex.

"Susan, I thought that I told you that I didn't want kids in here asking for money!"

George's booming voice echoed through the spacious office, intimidating Alex and lodging a lump in his throat.

"Mr. Sanders, this boy isn't here to ask for donations. He has an appointment." Susan's nice voice soothed Alex a little bit, and even prevented him from racing out the door and being nauseous. He wasn't sure that he could face his father anymore.

"Okay then. Bye Susan." George dismissed his secretary with the wave of his hand, and in the same movement, he gestured for the stiff teenage boy to sit down in one of the luxurious chairs that sat in front of his desk.

"Who are you, and what do you want." Alex sat, scared to the point of bailing. George seemed to be such a callous man and Alex wasn't sure what to do. He cursed himself because out of all the planning that he did for meeting his father, he never actually thought how he would spill the information about him being George's son.

Deep in his soul he just wanted to say "Dad!", and for George to immediately open his arms welcomingly and say "Son!" and then they would hug. Clearly that was not going to happen.

"Um, I'm Alex Davis..." Alex felt that he couldn't even recognize his own voice, and that someone else was speaking for him. There was no way that he was coherent enough to make words at this moment, with this man in front of him.

"And...Come on kid, I don't have all day. Get on with it." George picked up his newspaper again, reading stock reports from around the world. He was quickly getting agitated with the nervous teenager.

Alex got more and more discouraged and annoyed with himself. Why couldn't he make words? He had never struggled to talk to adults before. Why now did he have to turn into a bumbling idiot? Taking a deep breath, Alex pulled together all of his senses, thoughts and muscles to open his mouth, use his vocal cords, and throw away all caution to say what he needed to.

"I'm Victoria Davis's son."

This declaration definetly got George's attention as he threw down his newspaper and really took a good look at Alex. George noticed that they had the same shade of hair, even though his own was thinned and lined with gray. They had the same ears, nose, and almost the same shape of face. This kid looked like he did when he was a teenager.

George took a few moments to get his bearings, taking in the magnitude of the kid's statement. He had no doubt that Alex was telling the truth, but he didn't want a son. This kid just wanted his money.

"So the slut is trying to stick her bastard kid on me again?" George almost laughed at the wounded expression that masked Alex's face, and he could swear that he chuckeled when he tensed at the word 'slut'.

Alex could feel a storm cloud settle over his heart, this wasn't how he wanted his father to be. Not at all. He wanted to make a hasty exit now that he knew the he wasn't wanted by his father either, but he couldn't leave without defending his Mother.

"My Mother is not a slut." Alex growled through his teeth, digging his nails into the scratchy fabric of the chair.

George merely laughed at this, succeeding in only further angering the kid. He knew exactly how to play people. This skill was what made him a successful business man, he knew how to make people tick, he knew how to black mail, and he knew how to persuade; which was how he ended up conceiving the illegitimate kid in front of him.

"Sure she is kid. She begged me to do her that night. Who was I to say no? It's not my fault she wasn't smart enough to use birth control. Now she wants to use you to get me to pay her money. Listen kid, I didn't want you then, I still don't want you now. So why don't you slink back to your whore of a Mother, and leave me the hell alone."

Alex wanted to feel the claws that were sinking into his heart, he wanted to feel anything instead of the primitive rage that was consuming him, for he was seeing red, and his target was the son of a bitch that was laughing behind his desk.

"I said that my Mother is not a whore."

Every single muscle in his body was tensed with his rage. He would never let a man talk about the woman that almost sacraficed her marriage just to have him. Especially not the man who did it to her in the first place.

George almost felt worried when he how much tension and anger was radiating off of the boy. Maybe he had gone too far in provoking Alex. He wan't too concerned though. George Sanders was untouchable, in business and by people and emotions.

"Victoria Davis is just a slut that was too stupid to get an abortion." George saw the flash of Alex jumping up and over the desk at him before he could even react.

Hearing his father once again insult his Mother, and then suggest an abortion, finally broke all of Alex's self control. His body was working on adrenaline and primal instinct and his mind was paused and he attacked George.

George was knocked out of his chair and to the floor as the teenaged boy, now obviously an athlete due to his reflexes and strength, attacked him, punching every single place he could reach. After a few blows to his face, he yelled out to the security guards that were only yards from his office.

Before the security guards arrived, George was able to gain some ground and roll Alex to the floor, successfully landing a few of his own punches to the boy's face to subdue him so that he couldn't do too much damage.

Alex didn't even feel the blows as they were landed on his face. His cheek bone and eye on the right side of his face were the last of his worries as he tried as hard as he could to hurt the man that had just decimated his heart.

He vaguely felt it when a two big burly men ran in the room and yanked him off the CEO. Alex was then held with his arms behind his back, with the man's meaty hands pushing his neck forward so he was immobilized. But Alex still wasn't in the right state of mind. He was still growling and cursing at the wounded man that was now standing up and mirthfully laughing at the restrained teenager

In a matter of seconds, a police officer was present in the office, which was now littered with papers that had been thrown askew during the attack. The restrained Alex was almost close to being back to a point where his mind was in control, and he wasn't running on fight instincts.

"The kid just came in here and assaulted me. I didn't do anything but try to defend myself officer. I won't feel safe with scum like him out on the street. Arrest him please officer." George was pointing toward the struggling boy, making gestures and embellishing how he attacked the man without provoaction. Of course this only provoked Alex more.

"You son of a bitch!" Alex screamed in a hoarse voice before he was further restrained by having his jaw pulled to the side by another rough and meaty hand. He was still not feeling any emotions and running on instinct, but he knew that when the pain and humiliation hit him, it would be the harshest blow that he ever had to face.

George smirked at the boy, just to irk him more before he turned his acting skills back on and turning toward the police officer.

"You see officer, he's wild and uncontrollable. I would feel much safer if he was in a juvenile delinquent facility."

"Would you like to press charges on him?"

"No officer, just take him in." George walked out of the office, satisfied with how the situation turned out. He would show Victoria that she couldn't try to con him out of money by using her son. He got her precious son arrested.

"Will do George. I'm sorry for all the trouble." The police officer, who was old friends with George smiled as he approached the struggling teenager and began reading him his rights while handcuffing him.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law..."

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"Hello, is this Victoria Davis?"

Victoria answered her phone anxiously the next day around noon. She had still been waiting for a call all day, and when she never recieved one from either Alex or George, she finally assumed that things had gone well between them.

That is until she recieved the phone call from an officer from Crestwood Juvenile Detention Center.

"Yes, this is she." Victoria approached the conversation hesitantly, dreading what this man wanted to speak to her about. Why was a juvenile detention center calling her?

"Mrs. Davis, your son, Alexander Davis has been arrested and is currently being held here for assault on a Mr. George Sanders. Mr. Sanders is not pressing charges, but we have to hold him here until a parent or guardian comes and bails him out."

Apparently her worse case scenario didn't cover Alex assaulting his father and being arrested.

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The whole process of being arrested, booked, searched and put in a cell had been a blur to Alex. All the while, the emotional wound that George had inflicted on him was beginning to become less numb.

By the time he had finished sitting at the lunch table, surrounded by people that fought, cursed, and threw random things at him for being silent, Alex was back in his single room. And then it hit him; the full force of what his father had done to him.

A pained groan emitted from his mouth as the pain of his heart splitering was now having full effect. He lay on the cot with the thin mattress and let the pain, shame, and humiliation take full control of his senses. As much as he tried to deny them, tears gathered in his eyes and slipped unchecked down his face.

Many other juvenile delinquents yelled insults in at him such as "faggot" "pansy" and "pussy". But those words couldn't hurt his feelings more than they were already hurt.

Why did George have to do that to him? Why did he have to humiliate him, strip him of his dignity and throw him in jail? Why didn't he just simply say that he didn't want his son, send him on his way, and lessened the pain?

Alex turned on his side toward the white painted cinder block wall and curled himself closer to a ball and put his arms over his head. His Mom was right, infact, she was more than right. Victoria Davis was dead on in her prediction of George Sanders. Now she was going to rub it in her son's face that she was right, and once again, he was gravely wrong.

The sleeves of the orange itchy jumpsuit were now damp from him wiping his tears, and his red and irritated face now stung with the tears.

"Oh Alex..."

A sympathetic voice from behind him made him curl up completely to hide his shame.

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Victoria Davis drove the two hour drive to the Crestwood Juvenile Detention Center in an hour and a half. She couldn't decide if she was more worried about Alex, or more angry at him for leaving without permission, assaulting a man, and getting himself arrested.

The worry for her son won out for him as she thought of his devastation. The sad thing was that Victoria knew that this was the most worry that she had ever done for her son.

As she arrived at the juvenile detention center and stated what she was there for, Victoria was led back to the cell that they were keeping Alex in. She was quite uncomfortable in such an uncivilized place, where most boys whistled at her, and she felt like she had to hide the jewels that adorned her.

When they finally got to the cell, the officer unlocked it for her and opened the heavy door that secured Alex in the room.

The sight inside the room made her regret not doing everything that she possibly could to prevent her son from meeting his father.

"Oh Alex..." She spoke, devastation not allowing her to speak any more words.

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Hey guys, I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. It would mean a lot for me if you left any sort of review. I know that there were no flashbacks in this chapter, but I thought that this chapter would be better in the present. There will be more flashbacks though. Please tell me what you thought of this chapter. Thanks, Broody.


	7. Embracing The World In Gray

Disclaimer: All characters and situations from _One Tree Hill_ are properties of Mark Schwahn, and CBS Warner Television. No copyright infringement intended.

**Author's Note - **All credits for the idea of the flashback in this chapter go to Simone1. She gave me a wonderful idea to write about and I enjoyed writing it. I hope you readers like it too. Thanks Simone1, I really appreciate your input!

Somewhere I Don't Belong

Chapter 6

Embracing The World In Gray

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"Psychoanalysis shows the human infant as the passive recipient of love, unable to bear hostility. Development is the learning to love actively and to bear rejection."

Karl Stern

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Did she successfully complete her job, doing whatever she could to keep her children away from harm? Did she do everything possible to make sure than her children were good people? Was she an acceptable Mother that would do anything for her daughter and son?

For Brooke, she did.

Victoria had done everything she could as a Mother to parent and protect Brooke. From rushing to her crib to coddle her as a child, to teaching her how to put on make up, Victoria would look at her beautiful daughter and see herself.

She didn't let Brooke be a skinny twig like Peyton Sawyer, because Brooke had so much more going for her than her looks. Brooke was gorgeous, smart, had amazing leadership skills, and self-esteem that any other girl would envy. And Victoria felt that she had helped make a large part of that.

In a few days, Brooke was going to walk arm in arm with his father in her pristine white gown for her cotillion. The cotillion party was a high class coming out party for all the teenage girls that are turning sixteen. This would be one of the most proud moments that Victoria would ever experience as a Mother.

Where had all of this pride been for Alex?

While she had been putting all of her Motherly efforts into Brooke, she left Alex alone to wonder why his Mom couldn't tell him that she loved him, or she was proud of him, or even hug him. She could count the number of times that she remembered hugging her son close on one hand.

Victoria realized with horror that without knowing it, she was becoming the one woman that she vowed not to be like; her Mother. Gerogia Davis was a woman that had a heart of ice, and was about as lovable as a cactus.

When Victoria had been a delicate little girl, she had spent hours vying for her Mom's love, pride, or anything to recieve a hug. She had gotten the best grades, been in all the top clubs and sororities, and dated all of the right boys.

None of those things had ever succeeded in making Georgia Davis proud. And by the time that she graduated college, Victoria had wanted to make sure that she treated her child better than Georgia had treated her.

And in Brooke's case, she had treated her daughter better, making sure that she hugged her, made her feel like she was a special little girl and made sure that the nannies took well care of her when she was forced to go on extended business trips.

Too bad she had become just like Georgia because of her treatment of Alex. The lack of hugs, attention and love must have taken their toll on her son. They must have taken such a toll that Alex thought that he had a better chance to find acceptance from the father that abandoned him in the cruelest way, than living with his neglecful Mom.

Too bad Alex had to find out the harsh reality of how mean and cold his father was by the man having him arrested and put in a juvenile delinquent facilty.

"Oh Alex..."

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The inconsolable Alex didn't even turn over in the cot to see who was in his cell with him. The normally frigid and strict voice of Victoria Davis could be heard from behind him, and it only made him curl even further into himself.

Alex knew that if he rolled over and faced her, he would see her with her arms crossed over her chest, and an angered expression that told him that she was only more ashamed of him. And the worst would be how she would rub it in that she was right about George.

Victoria didn't try to talk to her son, as she could tell that he was crying by the convulsions that could be seen on his back. Instead, she sat on the edge of the thin, off white, stained mattress and laid her hand on his back and rubbed soothing circles to calm him down.

The situation reminded her much of when Alex spraigned his ankle when he was nine. By that age he knew the position that held in his Mother's eyes, and that Brooke was clearly favored over him, but he had still begged for her attention and comfort, and for her to take away his pain.

But this time, he didn't ask for her comfort, and he didn't seem to expect it either. Had she really let him drift so far from her that he wouldn't ask for comfort from his own Mom?

Alex could feel the heaving in his chest subside as the hand on his back continued soothing him as if he were a small child. Finally, after much time had passed, he felt that he was calm enough to sit up.

Victoria nearly gasped when Alex sat up and let her see his face. The red irritated skin from him rubbing his tears away was the last of her worries. Her real concerns were the heavily bruised cheek bone, and the eye that was completely surrounded by a purple and blue welt. Though she had warned Alex that his father was cold, she never ever expected him to be the kind of man to punch the boy that he knew was his son.

"Alex..." She was about to apologize for the pain that she had allowed him to go through, he interrupted her.

"Say it." Alex moaned as he sat up, though he still refused to look at his Mom, for fear of her expression.

"What?" Victoria withdrew her hand from Alex and watched him grieve, confused as to what he was asking her to say. She had a vague idea of what it would be, but she wouldn't say it, the statement would too heart breaking for both of them.

Alex turned his head toward her this time, amazed that she was going to make him ask for it. How cruel did she have to be? She already knew that his other parent had inflicted the most malevolent act that he could imagine, so why did she have to make it worse. Swallowing deeply, Alex spoke in a deep, sorrowful voice.

"Just get it over with and say that you were right, and I was wrong. I know that I deserve a giant I told you so." Losing his grip on his last bit of dignity, Alex let himself sink into a state of reclusion. Though he asked his Mom to say these things didn't mean that he wanted to hear them.

Victoria covered her mouth with her hand to hide her fallen jaw. Did Alex really have such little faith in her as his Mom that he expected her to rub his failed attempt at knowing his father in his face? She was becoming more and more like her Mother than she could have ever imagined.

She couldn't see her son's eyes through his mop of hair, and and therefore, no real emotions could be seen. Victoria wanted to see her son through more than just his hair. Brushing Alex's bangs out of his face and holding them there, Victoria stared straight into his eyes. But instead of seeing his pain, she saw his personality receeding.

"I'm not going to say those things Alex." She sat next to him and hesitated to put her hands on him while he was aware and watching him. She was fine with touching him when he was so overcome with grief that he couldn't process anything else, but now that he was intently watching her, she couldn't lay a comforting hand on him.

Why was Mothering Alex so hard when loving and comforting Brooke was her second nature?

"You can't even touch me..." Alex had his eyes on his Mom's hand, which was suspended in mid air above his shoulder. He couldn't be any more uspet than he already was, with random tears occasionally still slipping down his face, but Victoria's hesitation to be able to touch him still stung.

After all, only a day before, he had seen Victoria hug Brooke before she left to school with Theresa. Where had his hug been that day as he lingered in the doorway, watching the exchanged? He had given up staying a few moments more and waiting for his Mom to hug him.

In fact, that hope had been given up more than a decade ago, when he still carried around his stuffed dog, and said 'Mommy' instead of Victoria.

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_"What story do you want Mommy to read you tonight princess?" The muffled voice from inside his sister's room signaled to the three and a half year-old that it was that time of night again. His Mommy was going to read him a story and then sing him a lullabye!_

_Rushing out of his door with his stuffed dog, Sniffy, hugged to his chest, Alex smiled as he plopped down in front of his baby sister's closed door. Leaning against it, careful not to alert anyone inside to his presence, Alex was antsy to start the story._

_"Oh, __Are you My Mother? __Great choice princess." His Mommy's soft voice could barely be heard, so he pressed one of his ears to the door to hear better._

_That story was his absolute favorite. It was about a birdie going everywhere to try to find his Mommy. Sometimes he felt just like the baby birdie in the story because his Mommy sometimes forgot him too. _

_Alex knew that the story wasn't really meant for him, and was only meant to be heard by Brooke, but he couldn't help but to pretend that it was all for him. After all, he never got bed time stories and his mommy never sang him to sleep. Listening to her soothing voice was comforting and never failed to make him drowsy. _

_Nearing the end of the story, when the birdie found his mommy, Alex felt slightly jealous. His Mommy was always out of reach to him. _

_"The End. Are you ready for your lullabye princess?" Brooke giggled in response to her Mother's voice, and Alex, the unknown presence on the other side of the closed door was nodding his head, waiting impatiently for the song. _

_Alex hugged Sniffy tighter to his chest as he curled in the fetal position, basking in the serenity of his Mommy's voice. He found himself rocking back and forth as a primitive soothing method, almost like he was pretending that his Mommy was holding him in her arms and rocking him. _

_When all the sounds disappeared, a disappointed Alex yanked his thumb from his mouth and scurried back to his room and into his 'big boy bed'. Crawling up with some difficulty, he buried himself under the his soft blankies, squeezed Sniffy for comfort and stuck his thumb back in mouth._

_"Goodnight Brookie. I love you." Alex frowned at that sentiment. His tucking in had consisted of being put in his room and having the door shut behind him. The only way he could navigate the way to his bed was the night light that was shaped like a smiling doggy. Doggies were his favorite animals. _

_"Goodnight Mommy. I love you too." Alex whispered sadly as he heard his Mommy exit Brooke's room and walk past his without opening the door and making sure that her baby boy was tucked in. _

_Squeezing his eyes shut, Alex thought about the story, thinking that he was the baby birdie, finding his Mommy and having her love him._

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Tension between Victoria and Alex had never been a surprise between either of them. Their whole parent-child relationship had been filled with tension so thick that it was the only thing that either could think about. But right now as they drove to where Alex had left the car, there was an air of pity and bitterness mixed along in that tension.

Victoria parked her car across the street from the car that Alex had drivensand paused before her son got out. He had been silent, as he usually was around her and everyone else. Alex was a recluse that recoiled and floundered when around people where Brooke was a social butterfly that flourished.

She knew that her son wouldn't speak about what happened to him when he met his father without pressure pouring down on him and a major emotional outburst.

Looking over, she saw him with his head hung, hair draped over his eyes, obviously upset but not willing to share the root cause.

"Alex, why won't you tell me what is going on with you?" The question was setting her up and she knew it. She never asked him what was happening in his life before, always choosing to neglect rather than take responsibility of her son's emotions.

"You're not my therapist, and the last time I checked, you weren't very interested in being my Mom either. So excuse me if I don't feel like spilling my guts to someone that was never even interested to hear about my day at school." Alex was sick of the tension and being around the woman that should have been the anchor of his life, but instead chose to leave him to his own devices, so he got out of the car.

Victoria was left in her luxury vehicle, completely speechless. Alex hadn't said such words that were laced with an upset attitude since she could remember. He was always passive, letting her walk over him. And the moment that she chose to say something to him that resembled Motherly nurturing and caring, he blew her off with his attitude.

Alex did have a point in his rebuttal though. Through most of his life, she had pushed aside his emotional needs, sometimes for Brooke, and other times becasue she didn't feel like playing Mommy to her illegitimate son.

Watching Alex get into the driver's seat of the car and turn the key in the ignition, Victoria drove off quickly. A small bit of her soul was hurt by Alex not letting her know about what was hurting him. He was her son, the thing that she had nurtured, albeit reluctantly, for nine months. And now he couldn't even stand being around her.

Not that she showed her son that she could stand being around him for the first sixteen years of his life...

Victoria Davis felt like she had lost a battle today. She had tried to be a Mother to Alex by comforting him from all the pain that he was surely feeling from the meeting with his father and had been turned down. And she wasn't used to being turned down by anyone or anything.

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As Alex drove down the highway, he wondered just how far ahead that his Mother was. He had sped up to almost twenty miles an hour over the speed limit to try and catch up to her, but when her black Lexus was nowhere to be seen no matter how fast he drove, Alex slowed back down.

He was slightly discouraged that Victoria hadn't at least had the decency to wait for him. After she had comforted him, he thought that maybe they had come to somewhat of an understanding. A warped, strained, yet almost civil understanding.

Alex grunted as he realized how stupid that he sounded. He had spent his whole childhood vying for any attention that he could get from his cold mother. And now that he had recieved that attention (though Victoria still couldn't stand to touch him when he was conscious of her movements), he was withdrawing like the scared little boy that he really was.

Did he really do these things to himself unconsciously? What was wrong with him that he craved light when in the dark, and when he was engulfed by the light, he just wanted to crawl back to the darkness, curl up and be unnoticed.

His statement before he exited his Mother's car had been a test of sorts. Would Victoria act like the cold business woman that disregarded him when he got difficult, or would she stay the same woman that she was when she asked him to share his hurts and rubbed his back as he sobbed?

Obvious it was the first choice, much to his disappointment.

Wasn't that how normal mothers and sons acted? The son was petulant and sarcastic, and the Mother would forgive her son for however he acted.

Now it was obvious that he could never have that. He had challenged the great Victoria Davis and he had lost. How typical of his life.

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Hey guys, sorry for the slight delay in updating, this week has been hectic and I have been so busy with tests. I appreciate all of you that continue to read and review to my story because the reviews are what make me so happy to write. Thanks again to all of you that take the time to read and review. And special thanks to Suziebw12. Love Broody


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